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ashmolean, blog, bodliean library, champagne, chopin, dream, focus, inspector lewis, journey, morse, oxford, research, science, sheldonian, toast, website, writer, writer for 365, writer's life, writing
This weekend I find myself missing this blog. I find myself missing the feeling of being a proper, focused writer. Probably because I have just returned from the bliss of being nothing but a writer in one of my favorite cities in the world…and have spent the last four days sick in bed.
In my last post I made the deal with myself that I would post when I wasn’t working on my writing. I can’t say I kept that deal. There have been many days that I haven’t done anything writerly…with no post to own up. Still, in these intervening months, I’ve obtained input from agents, done a massive revision of the manuscript and another in-depth read-through, and have a list of potential agents started, as well as a decent query letter and synopsis. The website, alas, hasn’t gone as well as I hoped. I discovered it’s hard to create an author’s website when you’re not really sure who you are as an author. My interests and goals are too varied, and my accomplishment too few.
And so I took myself over to Oxford for a four-day getaway…to be alone, to be inspired, to be nothing but a writer. Despite getting a horrible cold upon my return, it was worth it. I got a Bodleian Reader’s Card and did research in a 15th century library; found inspiration and ideas at the Ashmolean Museum and the Museum of the History of Science for a new series I intend to write…a trilogy of contemporary fantasy; and did frivolous things like listen to Chopin in the Sheldonian and drink champagne cocktails at the Morse Bar.
But now I’m home…back to real life…and returning to better health, so I can’t continue to spend the days in bed eating toast and living in reruns of Inspector Lewis. And so returns the same question…how do I feel like a writer when my life doesn’t feel like that of a “real” writer? Or at least the way I dream it should.
I come to this blog for the answer. This blog, which helped shape a writer’s life for me when I wasn’t sure how that could be possible, reminds me that it’s the smallest actions, the slightest shifts in perception, the mere act of holding on to your dream, that makes the dream real…that makes me a writer, regardless.
Living as a writer for 365 days 
Wow – have you always been this hard on yourself?! You have accomplishments far above what I would have imagined from someone with a full-time job. The 4-day break sounds wonderful, but how about giving yourself a break in all areas? Can you think of this illness as a gift that lets you do nothing but await to see what comes to you in morning pages and journaling? I think you are amazing and hope that you will feel better soon, even before you see that this is just a resting place on your way to somewhere else on your adventure. I know you will get there and am glad you are sharing your journey.
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Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I guess I am notoriously hard on myself. Of course, I don’t see it that way…it’s just how I feel! But I appreciate my friends and supporters reminding me to be nice to myself. I really do try…all that champagne and travel has t count for something. I also have lots I want to do and so little time! I feel like the White Rabbit most of the time…appropriate given I’ve just visited the city of his birth. Hugs and love to you. Hope you are well and being kind to yourself too.
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Welcome back! Your adventures keep me going. When the first book is published we will have a signing party and then it will be on to the next adventure.
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Sounds perfect! X
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As the saying goes “God is in the details”. I truly believe this. Love seeing your voice here, Shelley. 💙
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Thank you for always being so supportive and reading my ramblings! X
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Hi Shelley! Still here in Santa Rosa. Glad you had writing sojourn in England. Hope you are feeling better each day. Hi to Matthew & felines. Love, Kathy Sent from my iPhone
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Kathy! How I love getting your email updates. I’m sorry I’m a terrible correspondent. Time gets away from me. I am definitely on the mend, with the help of Matthew and the kitty caregivers. I hope Santa Rosa is still treating you well and I would very much like to get together for tea or lunch!
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Soooo glad to hear from you again! I also was glad to hear about Morse Bar. I was not aware of it, but had a feeling about its namesake. I’ve been watching “Endeavour” Morse reruns and can’t wait for the new season. I am very sad that the next season of “Inspector Lewis” will be the last. Television is my main activity while recuperating. As for your quandary, have you read “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott? I just started it two days ago. If you have not read it AND can wait a little while, I will send you my copy when I’m finished. In 1996 I met her at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. She signed my book, but I never read it. Coincidental (I don’t believe in coincidence.) that at the same time I start a book and you restart your blog both addressing similar concerns. From the jacket comments and what I’ve read so far, I think it would be appropriate. Let me know. Please keep blogging!!!
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And I’m glad to hear from you!…and that you’re recovering well from your procedures. Isn’t “Endeavour” great?! Now the funny thing is…someone gave me “Bird by Bird” to read and said it made them think of me. I read the first couple chapters and enjoyed them very much, but then got busy and set the book aside. Maybe this is the serendipitous sign I need to pick it back up! Thank you for all your encouragement. I hope to make more frequent appearances on the blog…it keeps me focused and true to myself. All my best to you too…keep taking good care of yourself!
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What a wonderful surprise to find you on here, I have been popping in to see if you had blogged yet and was always disappointment when I found the same dated blog, time after time….and yes you are very hard on yourself….stop that!!!! I know that you live by a “set criteria” of what you think it should be like to be a writer….life has its own agenda for us…..you need to be more organic with your thinking….let things happen, and flow naturally…and second my love you are a writer, author and all the other things that go along with that….so in reality you are living the life of an author, it doesn’t pay the bills yet, but I believe that it will soon…after you take the first step to get the book out there, the next one will be easier…the initial push of the first one is the hardest…I have great faith in you my love….I think of you as a writer…and when I speak of you that’s what I tell people you do….its the truth…so why not own it…and as for this blogs help….oh yes I believe in that….since you have introduced me to the blogging world I have lost 70#’s….and have found so many wonderful, encouraging, inspirational people here and all over the world….thank you for that…its okay to pop on here and just say hello and share your feelings from time to time, it doesn’t have to be daily or even weekly…just when the need strikes….keep it causual…no stress…love you lots and I am so happy I will be seeing you more often….!!!!! mummie
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