I’ve found that when I’m restless, as I am today, it’s no good trying to do anything I think I should do. I could try to force myself, but I’d just be miserable and the results would be poor. I’m coming to accept that.
So instead of working (or not working, as the case would’ve been) through the last of the red sections, I extracted all the letters in the novel (thirteen total, as it turns out) and prepared them for the in-depth read-through and revision I intend. I didn’t have the emotional presence to do that tonight either, but at least they’re ready. I also worked on my website a bit. I polled a handful of friends to help me with imagery and themes…my “branding.” Their answers are starting to flow in and have been very helpful! I also considered the first recipe I will try for my website. Given the New Year holiday approaching, I think it goes without saying that it will have to be a cocktail…and it will have to be from the new Mystery Writers of America Cookbook.
And along with that cocktail, I think one of my New Year resolutions will be accepting myself, just as I am. New Year resolutions tend to be aimed at the opposite…changing oneself. But the only New Year resolution I ever kept was the one that equated self-acceptance…doing something I love…drinking more champagne. There was a successful resolution! Well, I also like chocolate and cream sauces and pepperoni pizza and 70s rock and red lipstick and big earrings and kickboxing. There’s no point trying to eat fruit for dessert, or ordering the cappellini with olive oil & tomatoes, or buying that pink lipstick, or doing yoga. It’s not me and it’s time for total acceptance…as both a writer and a human being. I’ll drink a cocktail to that!