For me, the Sunday night before a new week is often like standing on the edge of a dark precipice. There’s fear, dread, a sense of the unknown and not knowing how I’ll find my way. I don’t know if this feeling will ever go away, no matter where I am or what I’m doing in my life, no matter how good things are. Sometimes, especially on a Sunday night, I suspect I’m a glass half-empty type of person. And these are the times that the only thing that gets me by is complete surrender…to the Great Creator, the Divine, the Universe…to whatever will be, to wherever I’m at…to faith and hope and the beauty of my dreams.
By the end of Monday I’ll have sorted myself out. I’ll be down in the precipice, flashlight and machete in hand, slowly hacking my way out, and smiling again. Still, I wish Sundays weren’t like this. But perhaps instead of viewing them as a curse, I should be grateful that they keep me surrendering to all those things greater than me, because I truly believe that all creative souls…whether they call themselves “artists” or not…must practice surrender to have the lives they dream of.
And tonight, as I spoon leftover milkshake out of a Styrofoam cup, I’m listening to a honky tonk band, Midland, sing a new favorite song, 14 Gears, which I’ve shared with you below. Then I’m going to round up my flashlight and machete in preparation for the week…and surrender.