This morning started off with some reflection, internally and out loud (in the form of overly long texts to poor souls who probably didn’t expect to be dragged into my creative hell at daybreak). As I had been tasked on Sunday, I was thinking about why I’m so resistant to finishing my book.
I’ve concluded that it comes down to two things:
1) The concern that I don’t have the talent, the gift to take the visions in my head and put them on paper for others to see. I still feel like what I’ve written doesn’t do justice to what I imagine for this story. I know author’s intent doesn’t even matter in many cases…people see the story they need to see…but it matters to me.
2) The fear that if I don’t submit the best possible work I may not have another opportunity. I’m not afraid of rejection…I’m afraid of preventable rejection. And I’m not saying this fear is rational, just that it’s there.
It’s ironic, then, that when I logged onto Facebook today, I was inundated with advice from the writing circles and publishers I follow. It looked something like this:
(The last image is from a great article found here: http://writerscircle.com/2013/08/writing-inspiration-advice-from-ira-glass.html)
Tonight I don’t feel like talking about the answers. Because talking isn’t part of the answer. Doing is. But one step at a time. Today, I’m just trying to understand my blocks…and be receptive to the wisdom of the Universe (which apparently uses Facebook and iMessage).
And tomorrow? Tomorrow I must begin to “steep” myself in everything mystery. That’s a direct order.