It’s bedtime and all I can think about are flannel sheets and my head hitting the pillow. But first…
I spent most of the afternoon and part of the evening in San Francisco with the salon of women writers I’m so fortunate to be a part of. I was very pleased to have something new to share…the short story I recently wrote for the NYC Midnight Short Story Challenge. They kindly validated that it is political satire, which gave me some hope that it won’t be disqualified, and provided wonderful suggestions on how to make it stronger, regardless of what comes with the contest. They also gave me some tough love…about my novel.
When I got home, I relayed to my husband what they said and his response was, “Thank you!” Apparently, they’re all on the same side. And that side is, of course, mine. They want me to quit stalling with a book that is essentially done, if not perfect, and send it out into the world. They even think I have a chance at success. I can hear my mom now as she reads this: “That’s what I’ve been telling you!” The only one who isn’t on my side seems to be me.
What is it that blinds us about our own work and path? I don’t know. Part of my assignment for our next meeting is to think about that…what is motivating my resistance and fear at taking the next step…as well as to report on what action I take between today and then to finish my book and release it on to the world.
Something I do know, right now, is that I’m so grateful for this small group of talented writers who have taken time and interest in me and my writing. I’m also grateful for my friends and family who have encouraged and pushed…and not given up on me, even though I’ve been difficult to budge. I know that what I need to do is trust all these encouraging, affirming (and stern) voices…as well as the one deep in my heart. When I pay attention, even it tells me: “You want to leap? This is the leap you need to take. Everything can start once you do this.”