It’s hard to accept gifts from the Universe, sometimes even to recognize them. I used to be very good at reading the signs and accepting the gifts…when I had nothing and wanted everything. But once you have a little something that you treasure and want to keep, your ability to read signs and accept gifts becomes obscured by fear and attachments. You want more, but you don’t want to lose what you’ve already gained. You forget to trust…you forget you wouldn’t have anything if you hadn’t been open to everything.
The truth is that in order to win you always have to be willing to bet it all. Every time…you have to put all your chips on the table, with your whole heart. You can’t hold anything back or the gamble won’t work.
I mentioned the other night that a writerly friend has made a kind offer, though I didnt mention what it is…to read my whole novel from beginning to end. She’s an amazing writer and an avid mystery reader; and while a friend, she’s not so attached that she would shirk from telling me the absolute truth. I know it’s a gift from the Universe because I recall recently wandering the aisles of a bookshop wishing I could have an impartial person whom I trust read my book from beginning to end. While writing groups, when presented with one chapter at a time, can give good insight and input into the structure, character development, and plot points, it’s mostly for that chapter. It’s unfair to them to ask more…such as holding what I like to think is a complex mystery in their heads when only reading a chapter at time with four weeks in between!
I’m ready to get this novel done. I know family & friends have heard this before, and if they don’t believe me it’s okay. I’ve rediscovered, with their help, the sparks of inspiration that made me write the book in the first place. I also mentioned recently that too much input can leave one not seeing straight…because it’s piecemeal and usually focused on one part (the beginning, in most cases), without necessarily taking the entire work into consideration. I’ve had literary writers, family and friends read the entire book. And that was amazingly helpful…but no all mystery readers or impartial. I’ve had mystery writers and agents read the first twenty pages with an eye for marketability, and that was equally helpful, but didn’t address the entire book. Now I have a great writer and a voracious reader of mysteries offering to do a last read of the entire novel, and quickly so that I can get started finishing it. I cannot refuse this gift.
Putting all my chips on the table…