Music continues to be a theme this week, but tonight it will be less enjoyable than last night, because tonight I’m not just listening to music on these big ol’ headphones but also facing it.
About what? Two things.
1) The Suggestion…
Who saw this coming? Certain insightful friends, no doubt. In my defense, it’s not that I’m balking at the schedule I put in place…per se. I think it’s perfect…in theory. The problem I’m having with it is the feeling that I’m not getting any momentum. The idea of taking small stabs each day at everything I want to accomplish is, in the long run, probably the way to maintain…but maybe not the way to start. What I need right now is to feel like I’m getting somewhere…and this isn’t doing it.
I’ve been writing this blog now for almost forty days, and while I think that’s damn impressive…and it’s already expanded my writerly life…I can no longer deny that my creative writing time has significantly diminished. By that I mean the time I devote to my novel, short stories, and other randomness I feel the need to get out of my head. I feared this would happen…and it has.
What to do? Revise.
Who says we writers just revise our writing? We revise everything…again and again. You don’t stop and face the music unless you have an idea of what your next move is going to be…at least I don’t. I’m abandoning neither the schedule nor my writing; I’m just revising how I go about each.
With regards to the schedule, some things do need to be done daily, or almost daily…writing this blog, random correspondence, cleaning the house, exercise…but other things need whole nights or days devoted to them so I can really build some momentum again…non-writing projects, house projects, reading. And, of course, sometimes I need a night or day off from “shoulds”…to do nothing but numb my mind with movies, cappuccinos, and champagne. As for writing…well, it’s unique. Like exercise, it needs to be done daily or you risk losing everything you gained. But it can also be like a night of total indulgence…something you can bliss-out on for hours, and should when the mood strikes.
Do you hear the difference? I’ve faced the music. Now for my next move.